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29 Jul 2017

Resolving Conflicts With NLP


Resolving Conflicts - conflict resolutionA conflict is simply an area, where there is no harmony or peace among people, a way of thinking with divided views or wants. If you analyze, it is a conflict of the mind, at times unknowingly, when diverse ideas are held opposing each other. They can happen, when there is an inner struggle within ourselves or with the outside world or external forces.

Internal conflicts happen at various facets of our lives and at different degrees. To explain, you may have a conflict about what to do. Should you stay inside and sleep or go outdoors and get fresh air.

Conflicts also happen, when you think, what you can do and what you can’t. Or even about what you hold important or believe in. A person may be convinced if it is correct for him to study astronomy, but may not have self-belief that it is possible for him to learn it. This will cause him difficulty to learn astronomy.

There are also struggles with holding onto a particular role. For example a person may have a conflict with his role as a husband and head of the house.

Person to person, peoples’ ideas of what is real is so varied that conflicts happen, when they attempt to commune with each other. What they have believed and valued since childhood becomes mixed up together to become various types of what is real. When they can’t reconcile and sort out, what is real to them, then conflicts break out like disagreeing, disputing and other types of conflict. The only solution is negotiating and calling in a mediator for those person to person conflicts.

Having at the bottom of it all, the persons’ own deepest in-built faulty nature causes all inner struggles. These are what are called conflicts between you and yourself. In an inner conflict, there is a war going on with one part of the nature and the other. The outside pressures squeeze on the inside of you or internally. With one part of you conflicts with the other, there is no winner. Will I succeed is the dilemma! To whom should I listen? The inner part that says do it or the other part that says I can’t achieve this. Finally both parts are not satisfied. Because the fight is an internal one, its solution must also be an internal one. Since it did not originate from outside circumstances, it cannot be solved by outside elements. As we all know continuous struggles or stress eventually lead to sickness or other body harm.

Conflict Resolution

This is an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) process, in which our responses, which are in conflict with each other, are settled and answered. Conflict resolution is the most important way, where NLP seeks to resolve conflicts of the mind, body and person-to-person problems. The following are the steps to conflict resolution:

1) Seek out the person’s inconsistencies, in what he says and what he does not say or imply.

2) Arrange the person’s inconsistencies into different levels.

3) Bring together the inconsistencies by making contact between the levels and bringing them together.

4) Ask or seek out the main areas involved in the conflict. Find out, if it is a matter of behavior that is causing the conflict.

5) Seek out the good intentions behind the person’s areas of concern.

6) Ensure each party with a conflict to see the good intentions of the other party. Also it doesn’t mean that either party has to come down from his/her position.

7) Seek other ways to see the similar position of the two parties, other than the positions, which are causing the conflict.

8) Seek out what option or options will fully meet the common aims of the parties.


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